tattler magazine

“Wow. My grandmother could never do that,” I said to my companions one morning, as we paused along a grimy roadside in Hanoi to look at an old lady, 70 at least, swinging from a short tree like a monkey. I half expected her to launch into full-on pull-ups. As we watched, she let go of the branch mid-swing and landed deftly on her feet. And as she started stretching, another old lady took her place swinging from the branch.

Various forms of exercises take place all over Hanoi every morning. At the crack of dawn, a crowd gathers in little roadside parks to do Tai chi, little old ladies do their stretched and swing from trees before setting up their stalls, tourists emerge from their hotels and begin walking around the old quarters.

Like most other visitors to Hanoi, I had based myself at the old colonial quarters surrounding the picturesque Hoan Kiem Lake. And like most visitors, I took a map and went on a walking tour of the town, and inevitably got a little lost. The Old Quarter is a maze of bustling streets and alleyways (that all somehow look alike) with shops selling all kinds of stuff like souvenirs, handicrafts, clothes, shoes and even gravestones.

Street peddlars hawk their wares in makeshift ’stalls’ along the roads. After their morning exercise swinging from trees, the little old ladies bring out pots of steaming soup, short tables, stools and prepare for a long day of selling traditional pho, or rice noodles in soup.

If you think you’d rather not risk food poisoning, there are plenty of other options for meals. One great place is Quan An Ngon, a ‘marche’-like restaurant where you can walk around and see the different kinds of foods being prepared and order with the help of English-speaking waiters and pay for everything in a single bill at the end of your meal. The variety is incredible, as is the food – authentic and delicious.

I had a swan and bamboo soup and noodles on one of the nights there. Mmm, let’s just say swans look prettier than they taste – they taste kinda like gamey duck. My companions went crazy and ordered quail and sparrows. I like sparrows. They’re cute and taste good. You’re supposed to eat everything, head, bones, et al. Quail, on the other hand, really does just taste like chicken: small, tough and bony chicken.

Outside of Hanoi city itself are plenty of other attractions. We had our hotel arrange a daytrip for us to Halong Bay to see the islands and caves. “It is called Halong Bay, which means ‘descending dragon’, because when you have a bird’s eye view of all the islands, they look like the back of a dragon going into the sea,” said our tour guide, en route a 3-hour bus ride to the attraction. It made me wonder briefly what a dragon’s butt looked like. I still can’t figure it out.

A cruise ride and one lunch later, we found ourselves at the foot of a mountain where we proceeded to climb up a steep incline of stairs in stifling heat. At the top of the stairs, I was greeted by a blast of cool air. “Thank God for air-conditioning!” said the Australian lady who was in the same tour group. But it wasn’t air-conditioning at all. We were standing at the mouth of a cave and there was a cold breeze coming out of it. I stepped gratefully into the cool darkness only to almost slip on the damp ground and go tumbling down limestone steps.

This cave was called “The Surprising Cave”, and surprising it was. We went through three different chambers, each larger and more beautiful than the last. The final chamber was cavernous and so majestic; I can only imagine how it must have been like for the early French explorers who discovered it. I felt like I was journeying with Brendan Fraser to the centre of the Earth, or discovering treasure with Indiana Jones.

Hanoi is a city, still spared from commercialization, a by-product of increasing international tourism. There is no Macdonald’s, no Starbucks. Yet. But all this is quickly changing. I went 5 months ago in December and all I could find was a KFC. On this trip I found 2 KFCs, a Gloria Jeans and a Thai Express. It won’t be long before the vestiges of tradition and authentic flavour of Hanoi are overtaken by commercialization. So visit this beautiful city before the mermaids with the long hair and two tails take over.